Dear Annabel...

I don’t quite know what to say, it’s been a while since we’ve been in contact, I wish I could turn back the time.
For the time that I knew you, I cherished your friendship. You were there for me in my darker times, my rock through the bad times, and no matter what I will never forget that. It’s when you get hurt as deeply as I did, that you start to be greatful for those around you who are loyal to you, or so the ones you think are loyal.

To have a best friend betray you, is unforgiveable, something that will be on your mind no matter how much you try to forget it. I will never and could never inflict that on anyone. Especially not you, and I feel guilty for this, which I am about to say:

I’m not who you think I am. You were the bestest friend I had, the one I turned to with everything, the one I talked to when I had no one else. The one who knew all my secrets, that was you. I was lucky to have you, and you made me feel accepted. One of the few people who didn’t laugh at me, one of those who didn’t talk about me. Or so I thought.

I had your back always, looked out for you, and even helped with relaionship problems. You two were perfect for each other. Until one day, he did something I never thought he’d do. Asking me out for meals.. to the cinema.. all of which I thought I was a double date, all of us together. I had no idea you didn’t know. He even came round mine, without you, strange this looks, even to me now. You were invited to come, though he didn’t tell you. You thought it was out of pity. It wasn’t. I wanted you there, more than him.

The conversations on msn, started off as normal, we were good friends, before youtwo got together, he used to tell me how much he liked you, and when you got together, he was made up. But a few times, he tried flirting with me, going so far as asking if anything more could happen between us. Telling me he’d dreamt about me and all sorts. I was horrified, and I cried at the sight of what he was saying. I didn’t want to say anything to you.. I didn’t want to hurt you, or split you up. Especially when I knew nothing would happen, I didn’t like him like that, never had. He was like a brother to me. You have no idea how uncomfortable I felt.

How could I tell you all this? How could I be the bearer of such horrible news? Iwish I had, I wish you knew just what he was really like

I wish I could tell you all this, I wish there was some way of you knowing. But I can’t. I don’t have the face to ruin things for you, or even stop you from making a big mistake. You were always worried about him finding someone new, worried about something happening. I thought you were safe, as I’d never do that to you. I know what it feels like, and I couldn’t inflict that on anyone.
My little twiglet, my best friend… I miss you x