Does anyone have this problem?

Ok, so you have a boyfriend. Or girlfriend.. They are the most amazing person you know, you love them with everything you have to offer, you'd do anything to make them happy... Yet there is one thing that makes you unhappy, or feel down. Their friends.

You could be the nicest person in the world.. but their friends don't like you. What do you do? Is there anything you can do? I have my boyfriend, and I love him to pieces. I would move with him wherever he went! That's how much I love him. I'd fight for us.. I'd stand up for him.. I'd even take a bullet for him. But no matter what I do, or how I feel about him, there's always his friends in the background. The ones who are the problem.. used to be my friends. Yes, my friends too. In fact, I knew them before I knew my guy.

I don't know whether it's something I've done, something they think I've done, or even if it's something he's told them that they've judged me on! The thing with girls, when it comes to boyfriends.. they don't change their opinions (unless of course something drastic happens like cheating!) if they like their friend's boyfriend, they like them.. However, my boyfriend's friends, have suddenly all turned on me, and decided that, I'm not good enough for him, and they don't like me. Infact, some have evn told me to my face, and made it plain!

:( All I want, is to be happy. I am happy with who I'm with. And I would give anything to make him happy, and give him everything he wants. But at the back of my mind, I know no matter what I do, I will always be judged by them lads...

Is there anything to change their mind? Is there anything I can do? when they were once a friend of mine? Even after going out of my way to help and cheer them up after breakups.. helping them get the girl they wanted.. not taking sides when they've had biig bust ups.. What does it take for guys to just.. Change thier minds?? Help anyone?

Bone Marrow Donors

So today, I saved a life. In theory anyway. I gave blood, for the fifth time. And decided to join the BBMR.
The BBMR is the British Bone Marrow Resgister. This can save more lives than just giving blood. Being part of the register, can save the lives of lukemia sufferers, by giving them the stem cells they need.

It is available for all blood donors to join, and almost everyone else. If you are interested, ask at the nearest blood donor session, or ring the number for advice and queries.

One day, someone you know or love might be relying on some. Save a life.

Dear Annabel...

I don’t quite know what to say, it’s been a while since we’ve been in contact, I wish I could turn back the time.
For the time that I knew you, I cherished your friendship. You were there for me in my darker times, my rock through the bad times, and no matter what I will never forget that. It’s when you get hurt as deeply as I did, that you start to be greatful for those around you who are loyal to you, or so the ones you think are loyal.

To have a best friend betray you, is unforgiveable, something that will be on your mind no matter how much you try to forget it. I will never and could never inflict that on anyone. Especially not you, and I feel guilty for this, which I am about to say:

I’m not who you think I am. You were the bestest friend I had, the one I turned to with everything, the one I talked to when I had no one else. The one who knew all my secrets, that was you. I was lucky to have you, and you made me feel accepted. One of the few people who didn’t laugh at me, one of those who didn’t talk about me. Or so I thought.

I had your back always, looked out for you, and even helped with relaionship problems. You two were perfect for each other. Until one day, he did something I never thought he’d do. Asking me out for meals.. to the cinema.. all of which I thought I was a double date, all of us together. I had no idea you didn’t know. He even came round mine, without you, strange this looks, even to me now. You were invited to come, though he didn’t tell you. You thought it was out of pity. It wasn’t. I wanted you there, more than him.

The conversations on msn, started off as normal, we were good friends, before youtwo got together, he used to tell me how much he liked you, and when you got together, he was made up. But a few times, he tried flirting with me, going so far as asking if anything more could happen between us. Telling me he’d dreamt about me and all sorts. I was horrified, and I cried at the sight of what he was saying. I didn’t want to say anything to you.. I didn’t want to hurt you, or split you up. Especially when I knew nothing would happen, I didn’t like him like that, never had. He was like a brother to me. You have no idea how uncomfortable I felt.

How could I tell you all this? How could I be the bearer of such horrible news? Iwish I had, I wish you knew just what he was really like

I wish I could tell you all this, I wish there was some way of you knowing. But I can’t. I don’t have the face to ruin things for you, or even stop you from making a big mistake. You were always worried about him finding someone new, worried about something happening. I thought you were safe, as I’d never do that to you. I know what it feels like, and I couldn’t inflict that on anyone.
My little twiglet, my best friend… I miss you x

What to do?

How do we tell someone something that we know will break their heart, but something they need to know?

How many of you have been screwed over? Whether by a friend, a boyfriend, a family member, or even someone you work with?

Sometimes we go through life in our own way. We live how we want to live, we do what we want to do, we know our limits. We know those close to us, we know the ones we care for, admire, and cherish. How is it that one day, things just, change? And people's perceptions of you become different, for no clear reasoning.

There is reasoning. It's always deep down below the surface, and it's not until it's too late that you realise why. The reasoning is always down to one of the following; jealousy, guilt or regret.

Being screwed over by someone close to you, always makes you wonder what you did wrong. You never think it's something someone else did. What about losing a best friend? A friend you loved and cared for, but lost contact with for reaons unknown to you. The fact her other half had somehow turned the tables on you so you are the one at fault.

To have your friend, betray you and your best friend by coming on to you, confuses you, and messes with your mind. You push them away, because you don't want it... but nevertheless, they keep trying. However, it's you that gets the blame. If you could only tell them the truth, if you could only make them see the mistake they were making... Is it too late? Maybe, just maybe, it isn't too late yet...

New Me, New Beginning

So today is the beginning of the new me. I have finally kicked myself up the backside, and done what I have been meaningto do for goodness knows how long! I have joined the gym.

Now as my other half will tell you, I was always moaning about something. How wobbly my legs and stomach were, or how a certain pair of jeans didn’t fit, or even how unfit I was. But did I do anything about it? Of course not! I couldn’t be bothered. I was lazy and just expected things to change. What was it that made me change you ask? I’ll tell you…

I was a normal girl, didn’t bother what people thought, happy with how I was and what I had, not a care in the world, and I’d do what I like. However, I started to put weight on. At first, it was just a bit, it didn’t bother me at all. But then being at university, I put on a stone and a half. Yes, wow! I didn’t exactly do anything about it, I just moaned. It wasn’t until three days ago, that I stood in front of the mirror, and looked in horror at the stranger staring back at me. Who and what was that thing? It was me.

I’m not the most athletic person in the world. I have rather bad asthma, and am unfit to the point where walking up stairs gets me out of breath. My decision to join the gym is to help me lose weight, tone my muscles and even fitten up. I tell you, you have no idea how good it feels when you start to put a plan into action!

I’m not really a morning person. I’d sleep in until midday if I could, but today I was up at 7am, ready to go down to the gym and register. Which I did… It turned out they couldn’t fit me in for an induction until 8.30pm tonight. Waste of time getting up early you say? No. In fact, I’m rather happy to have been up since then. I feel fresh and alive, knowing that later on, will be the start of the new me. Until then, it’s the healthy diet plan that starts now.

A word of advice, if something is bugging you and you’re not happy, whatever it is, do something about it. You will feels so great when you do something, and even better when you see the final outcome.

That uncomfortable feeling

Have you ever felt so uncomfortable, that you don't know how to feel about something?
Have you ever wondered why people are the way they are? The way they make you feel, like an outcast... Like you don't belong... Like you're not right. Whoever we are, whatever we are, we have the right to be like that. Not how others think we should be. I feel enclosed in a particular world, like I'm not quite how I should be. Like I'm different. Too different.

Will anyone accept me for who I am? Will they let me be who I am and who I want to be? I want to be me, live freely and not care what people think, but I live knowing that there's constant whispers behind my back. What happens when we don't know what to do? When we don't know how to take it? Will I ever live securely in a world I'm happy with? Where I'm truly happy?

I live with this burden of wondering if I'm being watched, being monitored and judged, but by people who are of insignificance. How is it they have this power over me, to make me feel so unwanted?
When will we live in a world where everything is normal? Will we ever have that? I want the acceptance from those close to me, those who call themselves friends but don't act like it. I want the friendship.

Infidelity and Suspicions

So today I decided, I’d sit in and watch and a film, curled up on the sofa, with my big fluffy dressing gown, and forget about being ill. I ended up watching The Women. I loved it! I thought it was brilliant! However, it did raise issues for me. What is it that’s so hard about being faithful? Why do people see the need to stray, and go in search of something that they have already?

Cheating is never something I really understood. Someone once told me, ‘the grass is greener at home’ and I thought, it’s true. If you’re happy, then you have everything you want. Why risk losing it all? But some people do. They throw everything away for nothing, as it often turns out, that what they gained, was nothing to what they lost.

I have friends that recently have been unfaithful, and they don’t seem to care. People’s minds are becoming corupt, and any feelings are just being forgotten. I am shocked how anyone could cause such pain and hurt to someone they care so deeply about. I am ashamed to say I know so many people who do it, and shocked by them. It’s so unexpected. Which draws me to my next point.

If infidelity is becoming more common, what chance do we stand of being happy? What stops us from suspecting those close to us? I myself, admittedly get paranoid, not that I should. I am happy, and I am a nice person, I am happy with whom I’m with. I have trust that they will remain faithful, but there will always be a thought in the back of my mind, some people will throw away everything.

Trust isn’t something that should be given away freely, it is something that should be earned. It’s alright to have some suspicions, just don’t live by them. Live everyday as if it’s your last, cherish every moment you have, you don’t know how long something will last. Not everything will last forever.